Xhosa Heritage - Culture

Marriage Customs

Children are a gift from the spiritual world, therefore marriage should be blessed. Rituals and ceremonies accompany or follow the occasion of a wedding. Rituals performed are not only aimed at informing the clan but are also aimed at uniting the two clans, of the bride and the groom. The two clans, abakhozi, are now one as they share the joys, sorrows and burdens - what happens to one is felt by all. The bride and the groom are married when the two biles from the sacrificial animals, one from each home, are mixed and poured in the kraal at emthonyameni (sacred place towards the back of the kraal), after some sacred words by the elderly people are spoken. The mixing of the two biles symbolises that what has been united by God cannot be separated. The product of the marriage, that is the child, cannot be reversed and be brought back into the mother's womb. That is why divorce is discouraged; the two clans try all possible solutions to make a marriage work. The rituals also recongnise that the product(s) of marriage from the two clans cannot be separated.

Though the man and woman are regarded as one in marriage, it is also recognised that the woman must keep her identity, reason why she is also called by her clan name; such as MaDlamini, MaZibula, MaNyathi, etc, with "Ma" showing that one is feminine. A woman religiously belongs to her biological clan. In times of rituals at her home (biological), she is informed and has to attend these as are her 'health'.